


Always A Mess

by thePetetoherPatrick



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drinking, F/M, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:37:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thePetetoherPatrick/pseuds/thePetetoherPatrick
Summary: Collection of 3 Drabble Type Stories for my 2nd Anniversary on Ao3:1. Frank gasped and curled in on himself at the pain that ripped through his chest when he tried to sit up in bed.2. Gerard squealed and squirmed away from him but couldn’t help the manic little laugh that slipped past his lips.3. Pete looked at his phone and grinned like an idiot. He had a notification from Patrick.





	Always A Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I had a plan and idea for my two year but it just wasn’t working and it didn’t feel right. The past year has been an emotional roller coaster for me and I owe a lot of people a lot of thanks. I’m behind on projects, I’ve accidentally temporarily abandoned some. I’ve left a collab or two hanging for too long. I feel awful about that but at the same time, while this was the worst year I’ve faced, it’s also been the best. 
> 
> I’ve figured a lot out about myself and I’ve made some amazing connections with people. My life got flipped on it’s head more than once and in both good and bad ways. 
> 
> This set of short oneshots will mean something to some people and I hope they understand what I’m trying to say to them. They’ll be short and a lot of them will have a lot of feels but this is what I’ve chosen to do no matter how many times it makes me cry. 
> 
> (note continued at the end.)

The Aftermath of the Accident

 

Frank gasped and curled in on himself at the pain that ripped through his chest when he tried to sit up in bed. It felt like Bob was standing on the center of his chest and it made tears sting his eyes. He tried to sit up but a scream escaped him despite his effort to hold it back. He cried in spite of himself and hated himself for it. He felt soft, warm hands on his shoulders and his breath caught. He looked up to see Jamia there. She frowned and sat beside him, rubbing her hand in soothing circles over his back. 

 

“You’re ok.” 

 

She said like it was a promise. 

 

“You need to get that checked.”

 

Frank shook his head in stubborn refusal. 

 

“Frank Anthony Iero, if you weren’t already hurting I’d smack you.” 

 

Frank glared at her but it was a feeble attempt. She laid him back and kissed his cheek. He grumbled as she tucked him back into the bed and handed him his phone.

 

“I’m sure you can entertain yourself while I finish making lunch.  _ Do not _ move from that spot, and I’ll be back in a minute.” 

 

She looked at him and he nodded reluctantly. He opened Twitter to see which tweets he directed at him were worth responding to. There were a couple he didn’t even feel bad for roasting their stupidity. Jamia came back with a plate of food and he grumbled a little. He really wasn’t hungry. 

 

“Don’t grumble at me, mister, this is what you get for lifting small children when you know you shouldn’t. You need to take better care of yourself.”

 

Frank stuck out his tongue like the matter adult he was and folded his arms over his chest, only to wince and jump a little as the ache in his chest got worst when he did it. Jamia shook her head and sat back and sat back down beside him.

 

“You’ll be ok, baby, you just gotta take it easy and let yourself heal.”

 

She offered him the food and sighed heavily when he shook his head. 

 

“Frank, at least some of it please?”

 

Frank watched her face and the look in her eyes. She was his wife, she just wanted him to be okay. He sat up a little, wincing and reaching up to take the plate from her. 

 

“Alright, I’ll try for you.” 

 

She smiled warmly at him and rested her hand over his gently. 

 

* * *

 

Falling Into The Cracks

 

Gerard poured himself a coffee and tucked his hair behind his ear, staring at the half-finished sketch on the counter in front of him. He sighed and shaded a portion of Frank’s face to make it look like his face was turned up but tilted away from the light source a little. He shrugged, it was good enough for him. He looked at his phone and sighed. Four messages from Patrick about an idea he had and it was honestly a good one, it usually was, but Gerard just sent a generic approving response. There was also another three from Ray ranting in the group chat about some dickhead at work or something. He cared, and it was stupid but the amount of energy required for any of it was simply more than he had. He worried that they’d see him as not caring or being cold but he couldn’t muster the strength to even make up a message to send so he just sent “oh?” in hopes that Ray would keep up the conversation and get everything he needed to rant about out. He’d rather not half-ass the conversation but what was he supposed to do. He couldn’t just disappear.

 

His brain was filled with dead TV static and white noise. At night it because haunting memories and senseless jumbled voices screaming loud enough to deafen him with no real sound. Sleep was even worse. Anyone who asked would be told he was fine, he even fooled himself half the time, but the feeling was there. 

 

He was startled out of his train of thought but the sound of the front door and Mikey getting home from school. He offered a smile to Gerard and he should have smiled back because Mikey only really smiled for him but he couldn’t. Mikey didn’t seem to like this and took it upon himself to hug Gerard. He normally liked hugs but people touching him just irritated him and made him uncomfortable right now. Like his skin was trying to reject everything on it and hide inside of him. It was the weirdest feeling and he hated it. Mikey noticed him squirm and tickled him lightly. 

 

Gerard squealed and squirmed away from him but couldn’t help the manic little laugh that slipped past his lips. Mikey grinned and tickled Gerard so more, just happy to hear any kind of laugh from him that wasn’t forced or fake. Gerard fought to get away and squirmed even more but he couldn’t stop laughing.

 

“Mikey!”

 

He yelled and laughed, trying to get Mikey back and failing miserably. He was laughing so hard he could feel the tears in his eyes and he couldn’t breathe. He crumpled to the floor and curled up in hopes Mikey would cut it out. Mikey collapsed laughing and shook his head, looking at his brother for a second before he stood back up. Gerard didn’t move. He didn’t know what was wrong. He couldn’t stop laughing but he wasn’t crying because of the laughing anymore, they were real tears. He was laughing and crying so hard that he was shaking and it scared him. Mikey looked worried and crouched down to put his hands on Gerard’s shoulders to hold him up. Gerard rested his head against the cupboard behind him and his jaw started to quiver like the rest of him, making his teeth chatter. Mikey frowned deeper and put his hand under Gerard’s jaw to try and hold it closed in hopes of stopping the chattering. The laughing slowly stopped and became sobs and cries. Mikey sighed and sat down on the floor to pull Gerard closer to him, hugging him to his chest and pressing his face into Gerard’s hair. 

 

“It’s ok, you’re ok.” 

 

“No……’m not.” 

 

His head started to clear and started to register what was happening. The door opened again and this time it was their dad. 

 

“What is going on?” 

 

“I’m not sure.” 

 

Their dad shook his head and walked around them to go put on the TV. The noise made Gerard shake worse but Mikey wouldn’t let go of him. He put his hand over the one ear that wasn’t pressed against his chest and Gerard slowly started to calm down. When he was breathing regularly again Mikey set him back against the cupboard and got some water and some tissues. He wiped the tears from Gerard’s face and gave him the glass of water carefully. He helped him and gently guided it to his mouth so he could take small sips. 

 

They had seen this a couple of times before. Gerard had had another break down. It took a lot for it to get that bad. Gerard felt more than he had in nearly a month. Everything came crashing down around him and his heart hurt. Since his grandfather passed he’d kept himself too busy to stop and breathe or think, it wasn’t a surprise the stress finally got to him. Mikey stayed with him until he thought he was probably ok enough to be left on his own. 

 

Gerard didn’t move from the kitchen floor. He stayed there for a long time and just kind of stared at the wall opposite of him. He looked at his phone and turned on his music quietly. He looked up at the alcohol shelf. Now that he could feel, he didn’t like the feeling he was getting. It was empty but not in the way it had been. It ached and hurt and made him want to cry and scream. He stood up to make himself a drink, mixing vodka and strawberry lemonade. It went down too easy even though he mixed them as two or three shots in each. He could hear Mikey and Dad snoring in the back living room. He went through about three or four drinks in the next hour and a half or so. He got himself one of the cupcakes out of the fridge. It took him a minute to realize his phone was ringing. It was Ray so he answered it and couldn’t help the little giggle. 

 

“Hey Ray.”

 

He said somewhere between exhausted and drunk. Ray noticed. 

 

“Gerard, are you...fucking drunk?” 

 

“I might be?”

 

“How much have you had?”

 

When Gerard told him the anger and concern in Ray’s voice was so overpowering it snapped Gerard to attention. 

 

“You make some coffee and food right now. And don’t give me any bullshit about it being too late for coffee, you’ve had coffee at midnight and been fine.” 

 

“Well, I’ve got a cupcake.” 

 

“Good, that’s good. Now make some coffee.”

 

* * *

 

Idiot

 

Pete looked at his phone and grinned like an idiot. He had a notification from Patrick. He opened it and shook his head. They’d put their relationship status on Facebook as ‘in a relationship’ together as a joke and his family was not having it because of the distance between them. Nevermind the three year age gap, they were bothered by the distance. Patrick was a cute little English boy he’d met online and made friends with so easily. They clicked and it was weird but Pete hadn’t been so happy in a long time. He looked at his phone again and laughed at Patrick’s smartass retort to his comment. 

 

“What are you laughing at?”

 

His brother poked his head in his bedroom door.

 

“Oh just something Patrick said.” 

 

His brother rolled his eyes and left. He looked at his phone again and it was a text from his mother. 

 

Ma: You have got to be fucking kidding me. I just found out from your aunt that you changed your status. It’s bullshit and needs to be taken down.

 

Pete: Mom. First of all it’s a joke. And second so what if I was? You said you were fine with me being Bi. 

 

Ma: He lives in another country. That’s not a relationship.

 

Pete: How is it not?

 

Ma: You can’t kiss him and you certainly can’t go on dates or sleep together or anything.

 

Pete: So that’s all a relationship is to you? There’s more to it than that and it’s not up to you either way but it’s a joke so relax.

 

He tossed his phone aside and grumbled that she was being so ridiculous. How the hell was that all there was to a relationship. That was so stupid. His phone went off again and he half expected it to be her but it was Josh and Brendon. They were arguing about some meme they’d found. Pete flipped into the chat and asked them what the hell was going on. 

 

~~~~~

 

Pete found it getting harder to sleep. He tossed at turned till it was so early in the morning there was little point going to sleep. His phone when of for the thousandth time and he looked at it. Patrick was awake.

 

Patrick: Good Morning.

 

Pete: You realize it’s like 4am here, right?

 

Patrick: and yet you answered me. 

 

Pete: you got me there.

 

Pete frowned and thought about what time it would be there. 

 

Pete: why are you up so early?

 

Patrick: first day of college. 

 

Pete: forgot that was today.

 

Patrick: yeah I’ll message you later. Sleep!

 

Pete chuckled and told him he’d try before he rolled over and snuggled his face into his pillow. He hummed happily and actually started to feel drowsy. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep after that. 

 

~~~~~

 

Pete had spent roughly a month thinking about it and it was bugging the crap out of him. He’d even talked to Josh and he’d told Pete to go for it so many times he couldn’t count anymore. He didn’t know when it happened or how but he’d actually fallen for Patrick. Him talking about other guys pissed him off in a way he wasn’t used to. He fell asleep easier after talking to Patrick and would stay up late just to talk to him. When they video called he couldn’t get enough of listening to Patrick talk. He knew he wasn’t great at contributing to the conversation but he tried. He’d almost told him how he felt about a dozen times already. He picked up his phone and texted Josh. 

 

Pete: Dude, I can’t fucking do this. I...what if he gets mad? What if he says no? What if he just disappears and never talks to me again? I’m so gonna fuck this up.

 

Josh: PETE! holy crap man, you are head over heels for him, will you please stop being a big fraidy cat and ask him out. You won’t know if you don’t try.

 

Pete: I mean...yeah true but still.

 

Josh: Just do it.

 

Pete pouted for a minute and then took a deep breath. He opened the chat window for Patrick and started to type but he backspaced it all. He did that about seven times before he sent; 

 

Pete: Hey Trick?

 

It was a couple of minutes before Patrick answered but he did. 

 

Patrick: Yeah?

 

Pete thought about what to say for a while and sighed heavily as he typed. 

 

Pete: I don’t...I don’t like this joke thing anymore.

 

Patrick: What joke thing? The Facebook Joke?

 

Pete: Yeah. 

 

Patrick: Ok. 

 

Pete closed his eyes and tried not to let the stinging in his eyes and the fear get to him. 

 

Pete: What if it wasn’t a joke anymore?

 

Patrick: Yeah?

 

Pete: Yeah…

 

Patrick didn’t say anything so Pete started typing again.

 

Pete: That’s my really shit attempt at asking you out, sorry. 

 

Patrick sent a little laughing face. 

 

Patrick: Ok.

 

Pete got a little nervous at the lack of real answer. 

 

Pete: So...not a joke?

 

It took a minute but when the answer came through Pete cried. 

 

Patrick: Not a joke.

 

It was sent with a little heart emoji after it and Pete’s smile was so big it hurt his face. He laughed and wiped away the tears. He flipped over to Josh. 

 

Pete: I asked. 

 

Josh: AND?!

 

Pete sent him a screenshot.

 

Josh: AWE! That is so CUTE! YAY! I told you. 

 

Pete: yeah yeah I know. Thank you.

 

Pete smiled at his phone as it went off and it was Patrick. 

 

Patrick: Ok so I have this idea…

**Author's Note:**

> That’s it. I picked three because honestly I didn’t think I’d have time to do anymore but I also pulled at a lot of my own emotions writing these. I am mildly disgusted with myself for how close to a chat fic that last one got but it wouldn’t have held the same meaning any other way. 
> 
> I want to thank every single person reading this that played a major part in my life over the last year. You guys are some incredible people and mean so much to me.
> 
> Love you guys and I’m looking forward to another year of posting fics for you guys. 
> 
> \- XO Milo


End file.
